Fog

And just as the sky
darkends and thunder
looms in the distance,
the misty drops of
an unpredicted downpour
back off.
The clouds, which at
one point had been
dark and forboding,
begin to thin.
A hazy grey fog
rolls in and the
wind dies down until
not a leaf or twig
moves out of place.
It is here that I
stand. On a bridge
halfway between
there, and there.
I look both ways,
cannot see more
than three feet.
It's my decision.
A bird cries
directly above me,
and a single sliver
of sunshine breaks
through the canopy
of mugginess.
It is my decision.

They vanish too quickly for my tastes,
these premonitions of what could be.

All at once grand and seemingly, suddenly, unattainable.

This is what happens when my mind is left to wander.

My heart quickens

like the first time I saw you,
like the last time I saw you.
This time I see you, I don't know what to expect.
A rebeginning.
A beginning to an end,
the end of the beginning.
I'm nervous, like I'm about to take a test I didn't study for,
I couldn't have studied for (the worst kind).
Facing the aftermath of an unseen altercation that
seemingly came from nowhere, I know it didn't, at least from
your end.
I guess I just wish you were better at planning things out.
I see you now, walking here.
I take a deep breath and...

Leaves

and pigeons
two, no, three
baby strollers.
The pigeons
make the leaves
fly about in
short bursts
when startled
by a passerby.
I'm sitting
calm and collected
waiting for
what seems will
be a quiet
if not slightly
awkward
connection.
One third of me
wishes to give
up and leave,
before I make a fool
of myself.

For J.

swimming
swimming in a sea of self
to a shore that never
seems to appear
a mirage
a spirit
lost, in a sea of self
the comfort of a stable
shore beyond the next
swell
the next swell
riptide
Dirty Fucking Riptide
kick harder
swim faster
the lifeguard has been
alerted
he's reaching his hand
out to yours
kick harder
swim faster
hang on kid
you'll be able to rest soon

Coffee like Meth

it's boiling my insides
get up
get out
just go
there is nowhere
mall chairs
square steps
back and forth
on a train to nowhere
my mind races faster
than track dogs
and I can't remember
the last time I hugged
someone and it meant
something back
take this away from me
take this ALL away from
me.
Take ME away from ME
I don't want it anymore

I enjoy

moments of silence
with strangers at outside tables
with coffee and menthol
cigarrettes and three minute
waits for a fresh cup and
silent nods of goodbyes.